Wednesday, October 14

‘WRITE IT DOWN!’ says my mother. I am too sad to write, too sad to function. There is nothing for me to convey; there is only a consuming disquiet, a torture I cannot bear. There are things I wish to say, but it is as though I have lost my tongue. Life is not for me. ‘Write it down!’ I wish I could. If only I could tell you about my suffering! About how I have been crying all day, about how when I smoke outside of my office a thought strikes me that is so nauseating I vomit into my own mouth and swallow it! No, this life is not for me, not for I. ‘Write it down!’ says my mother, but I cannot. So, here, says I, take these one-hundred-and-forty-six words, for they are all I can muster, besides the thin will to continue.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there, this is not your permanent state of being. Good things are ahead, you just can't see them yet. Be kind to yourself until you're on the other side of it. <3

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